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Thursday Thirteen

by Toni Kemp

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13 actual sentences that appeared in Church bulletins:

 


1.) The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2.) The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

3.) Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

4.) The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

5.) Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

6.) For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

7.) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

8.) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

9.) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

10.) The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

11.) Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

12.) Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

13.) The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!”

~ Proofreading really is our friend! More Thursday Thirteen~

 


Posted in General, Thursday Thirteen on August 15th, 2007

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11 Responses to “Thursday Thirteen”

  1. toni Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    LOL! Very funny. And btw, Google has a Russian Mail Order Wife ad on your AF blog. Just in case you want to do some early Christmas shopping, lol.
    Blessings,
    ~Toni2~

  2. Tink Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    *LOL* I’m going to mail this list to some people that will like them for sure!
    My TT has 13 things about BED.

  3. Mark Caldwell Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    I particularly like #8. Great list :-)

  4. Malcolm Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    Pardon the expression, but this TT was funny as hell! I esp. liked 3, 5, 7, 8, and 13.

  5. Damozel Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 12:13 am

    I love all of them. I have a friend who teaches a writing course and is always looking for examples of ambiguous sentences. I am sending her this list–great illustrations of how inattention to syntax can cause your sentences to go gravely wrong!

  6. Imma (Alice) Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 5:30 am

    I’ve read these before, but really enjoyed them again. Great choice for your T13! Hope to see you over at mine. Happy T13.

  7. Sparky Duck Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 8:36 am

    8 and 10 nearly had me spitting coffee

  8. Audrey Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 9:34 am

    LOL! I love the daycare one… for the people with children, in case you didn’t know! :) That is fantastic!
    - Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  9. Dana Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I particularly love #3!

  10. MamaLee Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 9:50 am

    SO funny! Happy TT!

  11. Rae Says:
    August 16th, 2007 at 11:21 am

    Those were hilarious lol espcially 3 & 9 happy TT

Leave a Reply


About Being An Air Force Wife

Being An Air Force Wife is a about simply, being a military wife in todays world. Military wives take the 'unwritten' oath, to keep the home fires burning. When our troops are in the battle field, it's not always easy, it can be hair pulling at times, but this proud AF wife tries to find the humor in every situation.

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